Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
