she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
