There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
