If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
