I need help removing her.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Randomize
