I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize