So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I miss vodka workout Fridays
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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