the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
