if you like me you must not know who I am
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
please don't ironically join a cult
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