I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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