Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
