I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
