Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
