go do what you do best...puke behind churches
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
