I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
My vagina just clenched in fear
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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