if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
