He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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