ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Randomize
