Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
