If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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