Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
