I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
