bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
