I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
