No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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