I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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