If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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