I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
