he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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