i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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