So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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