I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
