In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
