Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize