I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
