We're like a lot better than the average bears
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
