You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
do herpes really smell.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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