Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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