waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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