Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
