you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
