Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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