no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
