OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
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