Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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