i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Randomize
