Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
