i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
