Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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