I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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