So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
