I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
