He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
