This beer is not sobering me up at all
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
