hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
You took a bar mat shot.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
