I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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