I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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