We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize