I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Randomize
