I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
