What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Randomize
