my room smells like sperm. sweet.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
