i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just forgot I was standing up.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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