If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I think your dad took our porno
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
