she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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