so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
